Alicia Keys honey.. try sleeping with freaking Insomnia.

Hi! I'm the sleep troll! I'm the

reason why you're only getting

this for a post.

U mad, bro?

*curls right back to sleep*

Chill out.. because your son is just a cock-sucker

"Stop contacting my son. Leave him alone!!!"

- Anxious Dad

I say, 

1. He is with someone who loves him more than you will ever accept him.
2. He is with someone who accepts him more than you will ever learn to love.
3. He is with someone who cares for all his whims, wishes and everything in between.
4. He is with someone who cares for all his sighs, sorrows and then some more.
5. He is with someone who's there, always.

Take your pick. In fact, take them all.

I'm sleepless and I know it..

Wow.

Insomnia continues to prey on me tonight like a leopard; lurking just beneath the surface of sleep before pouncing on me as I'm about to close my eyes. Sinister with its constant taunts of bliss, like a Prada advertisement, I'm surprised I haven't already developed abs (*whimpers*) from sitting up on my bed so many times. Insomnia is indeed a peculiar sensation to one like me, who has endured worst punishments to sleep than blogging.

It's official Blogger, you're cursed - but I don't wanna stop.

so is shopping. *whimpers*

As they like to tell me, love conquers all. As such, I tried to spend the "available, free" time with Love and a couple of loved ones. And as always, I couldn't resist smooching and cuddling up to him to a point where I am sure even Elmo vomits a little in his mouth. It's not just that I love my boyfriend so much, and the whole world knows it but he's the kind to make you feel like you're walking on clouds. And it's difficult to make a boy like me giddy with love like that.

so does shopping *whimpers*

I finally got around to watch "Lagenda Budak Setan" on the same night, which has a captivating plot but with so-so actors and even more mediocre delivery. In other words, it meets my expectations when it comes to Malay movies but hey, at least the soundtrack is awesome. I enjoyed it 2/3 of the way before I thought it became way more draggy than Kate Winslet's dress when she was in all that water when the Titanic sank. 

Maybe if i'm still restless tonight, I'd think about how boring it was and just drift off to sleep...

and dream of doing some shopping

*whimpers*

Monday blues? It could be Sunday sickness, doc.

I had the strangest case of insomnia last night - or since the last post. Could it be the surge of adenaline and satisfaction from writing it? Or just writing again in general? Thanks to Blogger, I managed to ignite again my biggest passion in life which has since been in deep slumber. Blame it on NS.

In a blaze of glory. ROAR!

The boost to my morale and motivation aside, I have to be conscious of how it might negatively affect my sleep. Note to self: I have to get the postings done earlier so the adrenaline effects wear off faster. At least, until I ORD that is - which is, God willing, in a month time.

So, what is a queer to do when life presents you a mug of insomnia in the morning? You down it with a visit to the doctor, followed quickly by a session with the boys. That's right - nothing like juicy gossip and a mug of hot chocolate to perk up a *sleepy* Monday. And we even managed to throw in a good 3 hours of L4D2 to really nail it. Like hot chocolate, friendship really does hit the spot with that much-needed dose of warm, fuzzy feeling - all the way till the very end.


Still, I suspect there is much more at hand that's on the loose, causing all kind of mischief and trouble - but ultimately giving putting the "happy" meaning to being gay. L'amore, as the French would call it. Love. Cinta.

You.

You don't need no introduction for my heart has been yearning for yours since our eyes first met. And you need no mention for information is a friend and a foe; the latter in which they are many - among your family, unfortunately - who seek to destroy us. But I want You to know that you were playing in my mind like a love song, baby (blueks) the greatest love story ever told - us (ah, much better). And I miss you so. 

Meet me soon <3

A note of family..

I think there's an unwritten rule somewhere that Sundays are that time of the week you dedicate to your family. Call me a cynic or crass - or without the "cr" - but family is the most formidable force in my life. Deep in my heart, I do sincerely believe in the most hectic, dysfunctional form of controlled chaos to have ever stuck my neck out for.

case in point

Illustrated above is one of the most awesome things to have been introduced my way recently - up there with Best Fries Forever, L4D2 and oxygen. I would put a place for "potential dates as recommended by friends" up there but that would make cat shit look edible. Modern Family is a dramedy done in Arrested Development-style that surrounds a gay, interracial and somewhat traditional backgrounds. In other words, my own family tree except the show comes with hilarious dialogues, believable plots and amazing chemistry.

And today was a great gathering of sorts for my family as the various extended sides came over to my mum's. I must openly admit now that it feels great to be among my own brood again; that extraordinary feeling of closeness with your own flesh and blood. I only have God to thank for opening my mind and heart to such joy in life, although I had to be baptized by fire for that.

That's when it hit me: God is now part of me like how my family is part of me. And how I am part of them like how I am their flesh and blood.

The similarities didn't end there - the more I contemplated - and it eventually boiled down to this:

1. Your relationship with God, as with your own family, is a personal one.
2. God is unconditionally loving, as how your family is - no matter the circumstances.
3. Never let anyone try to define your relationship with God as how they have no right to judge your family relationships.
4. The love completes, nourishes and inspires.
5. The love isn't undying although it endures - you need to constantly spend time nurturing it.

My sunday was made far more beautiful than I can ever imagine.

As told by.. Marilyn Manson

" You can't see the forest from the trees. You can't smell your own shit on your knees. "

- "The Beautiful People", Marilyn Manson 

If you're a young gay between the age of 17-20, there's a good chance that I just listed out what your main problem is. Get to it, boys.

Gay Agenda : ..for the perfect Sunday.

                                                         ..sleep in - and then snooze some more.

                                                                         ..followed by a refreshing dip all afternoon.

                                                              ..before burning up for the rest of the day with your 
                                                                    love in your arms, your heart next to his.

Difference Between Me & You (I) : Social Networking

Me:

Blogger: elaborate and detailed posts, exceeding two lines.

Facebook: discourse in a casual style, not exceeding two lines.

Twitter: short, whimsical thoughts, not exceeding 140 characters.

Douchebag:

Blogger: picturez, picturez, picturez!! use tumblr, stupid!!

Facebook: statusesss, cafe world, petville, sims social.. omg add me plz!!

Twitter: hashtags, tweets, twitpiczzzzz!!!

Bitches be hatin' but I play the game my way, my rules..

                                                                          ..like a boss B)

If you're an asshole and you know it..

I'm sorry for lying to you

I'm sorry for all those times you cried

I'm sorry for disappointing you

I'm sorry for making you angry

I'm sorry for ignoring you

I'M SORRY

I'm sorry for wasting your time

I'm sorry for raising my voice at you

I'm sorry for throwing my tantrum at you

I'm sorry for ever making you feel bad

I'm sorry for turning out to be 

less than I appear to be

- Full of Shit

So what are you "sorry" about? Where does your "sorry" belong to? One of them? All of them? Or does it fit more in the heading - as in, "I'm sorry but I'm just full of shit?"

"  I'm sorry, but a proper apology doesn't begin with one. It begins with an act of redemption. "

- Raihan Rocknova (Me)

Well.. FUCK YOU!

If Ke$ha can wake up feeling like P. Diddy, then hey I'm allowed to feel like a certain black guy this Saturday morning too - namely, Cee Lo Green.

At around 10am as it happens, I got up thinking "Oh God, I'm broke, so yeah..

                                                                            fuck this shit


Everyone has that angry, scolding voice in them - the one that surfaces when things go down south. Mine's that 17-year-old bitch from those days I was stuck with a clueless German boyfriend; the same one who couldn't keep his dick down longer than it takes Dora to pause in between questions. And when you have a boyfriend whose cock has been in more holes than a pound of Swiss cheese, you tend to get pretty angsty.

But I digress.

Angsty was raging as it went, "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR SHOPPING TOO MUCH, YOU BROKE PIECE OF SHIT. AHAHAHAHA, MOTHERFUCKER!" all morning while I was still in bed. Well, I thought quietly, FUCK YOU for putting up with your impulses and henceforth, putting yourself in this position. And I was going to have pleasant company on a beautiful Saturday like today - in the arms of the most beautiful boy I know, no less. A spoilt brat* like me would feel so disoriented when removed from his daily comforts (read: unnecessary spending).

But a boy gotta learn (read: beg, borrow or steal).

                                                                            Or hustle.

As it turns out, Cee Lo Green picked out the tune for the day and set the tempo for it. Because it wasn't enough to stop at just cursing myself for being a jackass brokeass, but some people came along as well. And some things just needed to be said and set out straight - and here it is:

1. FUCK YOU for walking out of my life.
2. FUCK YOU for choosing to treat a wonderful and sweet guy with lies and suspicion.
3. FUCK YOU for choosing to treat a warm, loyal and caring friend with bullshit and tantrums.
4. FUCK YOU for pushing away the one person who was willing to listen and understand.
5. Oh and FUCK YOU for being you, asshole.

How you read and interpret the list is entirely up to you: be it all the points referring to one person, or one to each person respectively, or in chronological order as it happens with one person - or all of them, respectively. Chances are, it's all of the above. How sad.

Still, it was a fabulous day spent with Love and loved ones. Seriously, fuck them all who have hurt me before because i have my Love now: he's all that I need <3

Goodnight.

Birth is the most unnatural experience.. for a gay guy.

Hello.

I'm gay. I'm bored, but that's the least of my troubles right now.

First being, I'm gay, bored and I just made the split second decision to breathe life to all manner of ideas, thoughts, plans, dysfunctions, fantasies and everything else in between; in the form of "um", "er", "oh no, he didn't.", "OMG! Shoes!" in a veritable explosion of whims and drama. It's that damn split second decision that separates fantasy and a big, fat civil lawsuit for my loose tongue.

I'm definitely in trouble. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm always up to this kind of mischief.

As the link preaches to you, one should only live his life out and loud - be it in your laugh, relationships or perspectives. In fact, it's more than just that: it's my fucking life philosophy. After all, the only way to remain consistently tasteful is to be yourself, be bold, and write a blog about it. It's only about to get crazier from this point on.

You have been warned.